Kagomes scars
by Desertrose288
Summary: Inuyasha chooses Kikyou, kagome becomes depressed and starts to cut herself, what does inu do.How do you save the one you loves from yourself.Inukag Mirsan narakkik hints of inukik
1. Cuts

a note to the wise, content contains that of cutting, and no self mutilation isn't healthy, ill stress the points more when I care, like later on when my story ends, okay so bye!

:inuyasha thoughts:

kag thoughts

Chapter one: Cuts

Kagome sat in her bathroom letting the jagged edge of the glass, she picked up from the broken cup, run across her skin, as crimson blood ran down her arm. Already two scars lay next to the newly cut wound. she told herself shed only do it once, but once turned into twice, and now it was her third cut, shed began to crave seeing her blood flow and feeling the adrenaline rush it supplied to her, she was surprised inuyasha hadn't caught on, to it.

Ever since he'd calmed his love for Kikyou, telling kagome he'd be leaving her. She began to cut herself the feeling of the rush of blood spill from her body let out an adrenaline rush which seemed to comfort her emotional wounds, but only adding to her physical ones. She laid a face cloth over her wound and applied pressure to stop the bleeding.

After a few minutes the blood stopped flowing, she washed off the smeared blood and glass so inuyasha wouldn't catch on to the scent of blood, pulled down her sleeve; she went back to her room. She packed up her remaining things including the glass and left for feudal Japan.

She'd had it all planned out shed wait till they'd stop and go alone bathe, that's when shed cut herself, shed wait until the her wound stopped bleeding, and go back , she had it all planned out. Shed never once realized that this had become something shed been craving to do, and even thought she told herself shed only do it once a day, she was already craving to create a new cut and to see new blood spill from her creamy skin.

Inuyasha was waiting by the well. When she pulled herself out, for once she wasn't late.

"Hi inuyasha." She said as cheerfully as she could manage, even though just looking at him made her want to run and cry, and cut her till she ran herself dry and died.

"Hey kagome." He said in a unusually happy tone, as he grabbed her yellow back pack for her, he could tell something was wrong, her smile faded right as they began to walk off towards keade's, and she was unusually distant from him.

"Kagome, are you…alright." He swore, for just a brief moment, kagomes whole body tensed, and then she relaxed, of course it still worried him.

He cant know what I'm doing, he just cant.

"Yes, I'm fine, why?"

"Well, you just seem kind of….never mind." He figured if he brought it up it would only upset her, and that he'd find out soon enough what was wrong…one way or another.

They headed back to kaede's hut in silence, occasionally inuyasha would glance at kagome from the corner of his eye she even had a look on her face that said "some things wrong with me cant you see that", but he ignored it. It wasn't long until they reached the hut, inuyasha watched kagomes personality through out the time they entered to when she went to bathe.

:Inuyasha's pov: (starts from when there walking there his thoughts)

"What the hell is wrong with her, shes just being so weird, I can sense it, something is wrong with her. why'd she tense up when I asked her what was wrong."

:in the hut: (still thoughts)

"Okay, she seemed all quiet and distant, is it me? Does she hate me? What' s going on kagome…"

:Normal pov:

Inuyasha sat there observing her….she noticed his eyes on her but ignored it as best as she could.

"Ok, im gonna go take a bath." Kagome said deciding she had enough of inuyashas hanyou stare for the moment, picking up the things she needed from her back pack, including the broken glass which she slipped into her towel she began to make her way outside; until she heard sango speak.

"Good idea kagome-chan I'll come with you." Sango said.

SHIT!

"Uh, I think id much rather be alone, Sango, nothing personal, I just, need some time to think. You understand right?" she felt bad and could see slight hurt in her friends eyes, but they turned into understanding a second later.

",Of course kagome." Sango said as she turned her gaze to the fire.

Kagome let out a sigh of realief, as she gathered the remaining things and left the hut. Inuyasha could fee her entire body go into a panick and tense up as Sango had decided to join her.

:what the fuck, is wrong with her, why does she want to be alone.:

Kagome walked off to the river, she pulled out the glass this time she cut towards her lower arm near her wrist but not at her wrist, a small cut drained out red liquid, she watched it for a moment a tear slid down her check as she looked over the other two scars. she dropped the glass and stripped herself of her cloths slowly getting into the river getting. she was quick washing off in the river since it was cold.

I know I should stop, but I like this, I like the rush of blood, it feels, it feels good, I can forget inuyasha I can forget Kikyou, I know I should stop, but I don't want to.

She smiled weakly before slipping out of the water and dressing quickly. She hadn't realized that her cut hadn't stopped bleeding, luckily for her everyone was asleep, everyone that is except inuyasha was , and he couldn't smell the blood since she had sprayed herself with a body spray.

"Kagome…."inuyasha began as he watched kagome put her things away in her bag, she dropped the piece of glass into the bottom of the bag, she then settled into her sleeping bag.

"Yea inuyasha?" Kagome said as she slid into inside the confines of her light blue bag.

"You know, you cant hide this from me kagome, I know something is wrong, you don't have to say, if you don't want to but I'm here if you want to talk, okay?"

Kagome sighed and gave inuyasha a "uh huh" before drifting to sleep.

All night long inuyasha had trouble sleeping, he swore he could smell blood, but the scent was always replaced with strawberries' as he took in the scents around him for a secondtime.

In the morning inuyasha woke up, and noticed everyone else was gone from the hut except for kagome.

It was then that he also noticed kagomes long sleeve night shirt had a red blotch on it, it was blood...her blood…

"Kagome!"

Hee hee I'm sorry I have to stop there and I know it'll be driving u crazy to find out what shes gonna say, but no he doesn't find out what shes really doing until ch 3 or 4 I want to make it last longer than a one shot u just don't get it….waaaa ok maybe u do …ok w.e bye!


	2. Gone too far

Kagome opened her eyes as a panicking half demon was trying to look at her wound she could feel his callous hands moving her sleeve up slowly. she yanked her hand away fast causing him to jump a little startled.…

"SIT!"yelled. "What do you think your doing."

He didn't curse at her he waited in a worried state for the stupid damn sit spell to wear off..

He jumped back up "your hurt" he said in a caring voice as he stared at her wrist.

Kagome looked her sleeve and inuyasha swore she went pale.

"Kagome?" he asked looking at her worried

"Inuyasha its nothing I'm fine, I just I uh, cut my hand on a rock at the river.. ya know clumsy me." she said as she pulled her sleeve over her wound.

::that's bullshit….why doesn't she trust me?::

"Uh, oh ok, well just be careful, I was worried." He said still looking at her wound.

he was worried, about me, duh you are the jewel shard collector

Sango and Miroku came in a few seconds later looking worried.

"Is everything all right, we heard some commotion."

"Uh, yea fine sango…. Kagome said. Can you guys leave for a minute so I can get dressed"

Sure, are you sure? What ever. They each said exiting the hut.

Everyone left so kagome could get dressed, and a few minutes later they all came back in.

Miroku was the first to speak. "It seems there's a jewel shard, or a rumor of one not far from here, we should leave today if we want to get to it before someone else does."

Kagome nodded. "ok ill grab my stuff…"

Most of the day was spent in silence, except for the occasional slap, and "keep your hands off pervert!" Kagome was caught up in reading her biology book, and shippo had fallen asleep on kilala, inuyasha was to busy thinking about kagome, and Sango and Miroku kept quiet for the most part; the sun was starting to set, and they were all getting tired.

"Inuyasha, can we stop for the night, please?" Kagome asked hoping he would say yes.

"Feh, guess so, no use in going on in the dark."

"Great" kagome said, as they found refuge by a group of trees.

Inuyasha and Miroku set up a fire quickly, and kagome put on a phony "I'm happy" act by making ramen and listen to shippo babble on.

As night fell, the group calmed down from there chatter and began to settle down for the night, Inuyasha up in the tree, kagome with shippo in her sleeping bag, Miroku and Sango next to one another, and Kilala placed in between the two. Kagome waited until everyone was asleep before leaving the group with the piece of glass.

She walked a good distance before sitting down at the base of a big cherry blossom tree.

She was relieved that inuyasha hadn't found her, and was hoping that he wouldn't wake up while she was gone. She wasn't that lucky.

Inuyasha opened his eyes looking around the fires dieing light to make sure everyone was there. "Sango Miroku kilala Shippo and kagome…" wait a minute" he said looking back to where kagome should have been. He felt his heart almost stop as he jumped out of the tree, and walked over to Sango.

Sango, hey Sango, wake up….

Inu…yasha? What… what is it….

Kagomes, missing, do you know where she went?

Sango lifted her head up to look and see for herself if kagome was truly gone, and indeed she was.

I, I don't know inuyasha… want me to wake Miroku and well go out and look.

No, stay here, incase she comes back.

Right. Sango said as inuyasha took off following kagomes scent…

Oh no, what am I gonna do, I cut it to deep. Kagome said to herself in a panick as she tried applying pressure to her wound.

"It won't stop bleeding."

She had brought the glass down on her skin ready to cut herself and get the rush and high she now craved, when she heard rustling in the woods. Startling her making her jump and cut herself deeper and closer to her veins than she had intended.

She was loosing blood and fast. She knew she was in trouble if she didn't get help.

She tried to stand and walk back to the group, but she felt herself grow dizzy and fall back to the ground.

If a demon smells me….oh god, inuyasha please save me…she whispered.

She heard a chuckling voice and turned quickly. A figure came from the shadows of the tree, it was a tiger demon, in its true demon form, and it was huge with claws, black strips, and sharp fangs.

"No one can save you out here." He said licking his lips. "Your soul is mine!" the demon said lifting its paw to kagome, ready to strike her and bring her down. Kagome brought he hands up trying to block off his attack, even though she knew she was a goner…

::I went to far, INUYASHA PLEASE SAVE ME!::

Dun dun dun, don't you hate cliff hangers? Me to…..ha ha…okay well..uhm yea I know its short but Ive been writing it in a note book and copying it onto Microsoft word, so give me a break….itll get longer I promise. My story's aren't usually short like thism but I found out Ive been having trouble thinking up ides….still am…well of course inu id gonna save her…maybe if I eel like writing it, or maybe I wont….depends on my mood….ok yea he will……or will he? Ha ha hee hee heee…..ok im crazy sorry im on a lack of sleep problem, ive been staying up late to watch inu…so yea..sorry 4 the delirium behavior.


	3. Because of you

Ok on with ch 3.hi I know its taken 4ever to update and im sorry, ive been moving around a lot lately….and im just now settling in….so here u r without further adue….ch3… 

Ch3: Cause of you…. 

"Your soul is mine!" the demon said lifting its paw to kagome, ready to strike her and bring her down. Kagome brought her hands up trying to block off his attack, even though she knew she was a goner… 

:I went to far, INUYASHA PLEASE SAVE ME: 

"Iron reaver soul stealer!" Inuyasha tore through the demon like it was wet paper. 

Kagome was seeing black right as inuyasha came around, and once she heard "iron reaver" she passed out.

"Kagome, kagome wake up please kagome!" Inuyasha's voice was anything but calm, even his face held sheer panic.

He noticed the wound on her wrist and the amount of blood right when arrived.

He tore off the edge of his kimono and wrapped it around the bleeding wound, the blood and kimonos color blended perfectly as he wrapped her wrist frantically, his fingers and hand now blood stained also. With the wound tied tightly he picked her up, and went to take off when he noticed something on the ground shimmering against the moonlight, he picked it up and took off running with kagome still unconscious in his arms.

Sango saw him coming through the area and when he arrived with kagome in his arms she almost cried seeing her best friend's cloths stained in blood and Inuyasha's hands covered in her blood, Kagomes face was pale white and she was in a kind of cold sweat probably form the loss of blood; her bangs clung to her sweat covered face and she'd flinch every so often, scaring inuyasha half to death.

"Kagome! Oh my gods, what happened to her!"

"She was attacked…."he said although he himself doubted that was what had actually happened as, he held Kagome his fingers were doing the best he could to wrap around the wound and apply pressure in a attempt to stop the bleeding.

It took Sango and inuyasha an hour to control the bleeding and afterwards inuyasha refused to leave her side. He sat against the base of a tree near where she was resting the group was forced to stay in that spot, since inuyasha didn't want to risk moving her and making her injuries any worse.

Inuyasha remembered the shiny thing he picked up and he pulled it out of his jacket, it was caked in kagomes blood, the blood now dry, inuyasha sat examining the it, he determined it was glass and from kagomes time.

He looked over to kagome and back at the glass his eyes widened as a realization struck him, and his gaze remained on kagome.

:kagome, what the hell is going on…:

It was eight hours later when kagome woke up to inuyasha staring at her.

"Hey…" he said with a soft caring smile, one she wasn't all too familiar with, especially on inuyasha.

She was confused and semi unaware of all that happened around her.

Inu...yasha? Kagome asked looking around noticing she was alone other than having the hanyou by her side. She slowly lifted her arm up; she examined the bandage and then sadly looked over to inuyasha, who was staring at her confused and worried.

Why? He asked eager to know, why she'd decided that marring her skin was a good idea.

She looked away attempting to ignore the question, she could feel Inuyasha's eyes burning into her but she couldn't look at him, she couldn't answer him, answering him meant telling the truth, It meant shed have to explain her tortured mind and the pain she went through, and how he was the one who caused I t all. How all she wanted more than anything was wake up by his beautiful face every morning and hear him tell her how he loved her and she would reply back with the same response. He'd probably make fun of her and call her a baka... then again she deserved it, for all the things she'd done, and would do, all the things that lead up to this moment and that this moment would lead up to, what did he care. Her mind reeled with a way to justify what she did, some way to answer without his response to be "u baka"or "what's wrong with u …"

"Kagome…." She was snapped out her thoughts as her name had been left hanging in the air, almost like an undeclared threat. Her head snapped towards him, only to receive a slightly annoyed glare. She always could tell when he was getting mad at her, his ears would twitch twice and then once more after a brief pause, and right now his ears were displaying this pattern about every twenty seconds.

"Where are the others?" She asked trying to change the subject, but to no prevail.

"theres a village nearby that needed help, and don't change the subject…" Inuyasha said sternly.

She sat up slowly and Inuyasha made his way to her side quickly.

"What are you doing?" He asked her somewhat frustrated.

"Leave me alone." She said trying to sound annoyed, as she tried to stand up but was only pulled back down by a clawed hand.

"You need to rest…"

"Leave me alone!" She repeated this time with a fiercer anger in her voice.

"No, damn it you're hurt and I'm going to take care of you, and you're going to answer my fucking questions!"

That was her last straw, he demanded so much from her yet never seemed to be willing to give anything back, never able to bend any rules when they fought, to let her slip by unnoticed when she tried to sneak off to go home, to give her a chance to love him…

"What Inuyasha, what do u want to know?"

He held out the piece of glass and her mouth shut tight, her muscles clenched, she became terrified, he knew….he knew everything. She was convinced of that now.

Her voice was nothing but a soft whisper, a lonely and sad whisper, the kind you hear from a desperately hurt person, not a fifteen year old school girl, let alone kagome Higurashi.

"What do u want to know, that u don't already…." She asked as the tears and fear bundled up inside her heart, threatening to explode at any minute, at any slightest remark he could make. The fear of him turning his back on her, thinking she was some sick demented girl was cemented into her mind and it made her want to cry yet she held back her tears in a feeble attempt to be just as tough as the one she loved so much.

"Why. Why would you do this…" He asked gently, gesturing to her bandaged wrist.

Kagome whispered quietly while looking towards the ground, she was loosing the battle to hold back her tears. "Because of you…." She said softly, and almost child like.

Inuyasha's eyes widened, he was the reason that this beautiful creature before him would cause such harm to her body, but why, what did he have to do with any of it…..then again the more he thought about it….what wouldn't he have to do with her…..

"what do you mean because of me?" He asked wanting to confirm what his mind was telling him.

The tears that had threatened to fall finally did, it was then that she felt Inuyasha's fingers under her chin, gently tilting her head up towards him, forcing eye contact between the two as the tears spilled freely from her eyes.

He wiped the tear away with his stray thumb.

"You baka, why would you hurt yourself, what did I do to hurt you so bad?"

She couldn't take it anymore; she flung herself against inuyasha and started crying. At first he was too shocked to react but after a moment his arms wrapped around her and he was whispering things she just wished he meant when he said them.

"It's alright kagome, I'm here now, please…don't cry….tell me what I can do to make you stop this. I hate seeing you hurting, please…please kagome…..just tell me what to do…"

Kagome looked up to inuyasha with tears in her eyes. "Never leave me…..love me like you love her…."

It took a mere nano second for those words to register in his mind as his eyes widened.

"Kagome…."

Hey there, im not sure if I like the way I wrote this chapter I might just go back and rewrite it, it was kinda short too, oh well to bad…so wondering what hell say /do…so am i…. im thinking a little bit of making it angsty..er….not sure yet though…kikyous gonna come in soon, that much I do know…..ok well u review and ill write more… till then….


	4. Tears

ORRY IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LACK OF UPDATES! I hopw this helps a lil im starting school so im not sure if ill be able to update that much..pft like I do ow, sorry guys im trying I reallllly am.  
Anywhere heres chapter uhh.. four.. yes four here ya go …oh and theres a slight lemon nothing to raunchy kinda like a sweet lemon the making love kind of lemon. lol.. ENJOY!

ch4: Tears…

'btw from now on these are thoughts'

"Kagome…" What kind of answer could he give her? What should he say? How do you turn down someone whose life depends so deeply on you and you alone? His mind went numb as he found no way to answer it. Instead, pure instinct took over, and that is how things became worse than they were before.

He leaned forward and stroked her hair, then out of nowhere he kissed her deeply, and of course, she took this as a sign that he had chosen her over Kikyou.

Inuyasha pulled back as he could sense Shippou and the others coming back. He growled and picked Kagome up and leapt off to a secluded area here he could be with her. He stopped after a few minutes and sat down, bringing Kagome to straddle him as she sat against him.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked slightly confused. All she recieved was a purr and a tender kiss against her neck. She arched her back and her chest touched his. An emotionless moan escaped her lips.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered. That one word, one name, held so much pain and hurt behind it and he planned on kissing away all of those pains. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. She was so emotionless.

'She reminds me of kikyou-- nothing more than a shell. I can't let that happen. Kikyou, forgive me...' Inuyasha thought.

Clawed hands pulled at her shirt and lifted it over her head; her hands went up to help him remove the obstructive clothing.

His gaze caught sight of five other scars-- the remainder of her self-infliction. She looked over to where his eyes were staring at and then looked away. No sooner had she turned her gaze away had she felt something warm and wet against her skin. Her head snapped back to see Inuyasha kissing her arms, more specifically her scars. He kissed all the way up her arm with each scar getting its own amount of tender love and care. And when he reached her neck, he kissed it several times and then claimed her lips again. As their kiss became heated, Kagome felt his hands wandering her body up and down, to her back, over her breast, down to her essence.

She blushed when his hands went up her skirt, and then slowly grew courageous. Her hands went to remove his kimono and shirt as he tore away her underwear. She gasped, startled that he would do something so rough to her.

He realized his mistake and stopped abruptly, pulling her into his arms and whispering apologies. She kept her head against his neck although she coulds feel his erection against her core, even though he was still clothed

"Kagome." She looked up into his eyes. "Kagome, I love you."

Her eyes widened, and for the first time in a while, he saw actual emotion looking back at him: love.

Inuyasha kissed her deeply, letting all his emotion pour out from him and into her, and he swore to the gods that she became the woman he loved so dearly.

'Wait... love Kagome… I do. I love her.'

He pushed her back onto the ground, her legs releasing his waist and spread apart for him. He moved between her legs and stared at her. He stared at her bra and growled lightly before ripping away her bra. His lips claimed her in a demanding kiss as his strong hands ran down her arms to her scars. Her tortured memories, her escape.

Inuyashsa pulled back and moved down her jawline to her ear, gently sucking in the lobe, earning a sigh and a mew from Kagome. He smirked and moved lower to the junction between her neck where he began to lick and suck at the skin, softening it up.

"Inuyasha!" came her cry.

Soon there bodies were one, both caught up in the rapture of the moment, neither caring of the consequences to come. Kagome moaned and mewed as Inuyasha groaned, moving faster within her to bring both of them to climax. Beads of sweat glistened on both their bodies; her hair was damp and as was his as it clashed against some strands of her black hair. There bodies creating one big mass of lovers.

As soon as it began, it ended. As she came, he marked her with his fangs into the juncture of her neck; the same juncture he had been kissing and preparing earlier. He howled as he released his fangs from her now pink and slightly damp skin, blood trickled down her neck and would have gone farther if Inuyasha had not lapped it up at the last second of the crimson liquids departure. She smiled. "Inuyahsa, I love you," said Kagome.

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he finished lapping at the blood. 'I love you…'

"Oh gods." He got up off of her quickly and looked away, confusing Kagome very much. Her smile faded as he got dressed; the look on his face saying "What have I done?"

"Inu.. yasha? " Kagome asked, hoping for an answer that would end up with him holding her again.

"Get dressed," he said, harsher than he had meant to.

He was deep in thought though. If he had seen the hurt look on her face, he would have cradled her in his arms, saying comforting things like "Its not you."

But he hadn't.

He had failed to recognize any of the signs. Even that she became the same pale and sad Kagome as before. Before he broke her heart… again.

She got dressed and they walked back in silence. Over head, Inuyasha saw Kikyou's soul stealers. Sadly, so did Kagome, and she whimpered as she knew he was going to go to her.

And she knew then that no one could ever save her.

No one could save Kagome Higurashi now…

Inuyasha walked her back to where Sango and the others were then quickly took off, grunting something about meeting up with them later.

Kagome looked at Sango a sad and lost expression etched over her facial features.

"Sango, can we get going, I want to go home." Kagome managed to say without breaking into tears.

Sango nodded and after packing up there camp they all started walking back, without Inuyasha. Sango attempted to find out why Kagome had been so upset and what had occurred between her and the inu hanyou, yet Kagome mearly shook her head saying she didn't want to talk about it. The rest of the way journey back to kaedes village was traveled in silence….

ITS SOOOO SHORT IM SORRY! I'm so busy! I'm trying I really am.. and I haven't abandoned my stories…


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